I am so close. Just a few exams left until I have finished my first year. And though my grades are lower than they have ever been, I've almost made it through and survived. I know I sound melodramatic, but a taste of my last few weeks would leave you with a bitter bite as well.
In just the last few weeks my symptoms have escalated. I have burning, searing, stabbing pain running up and down my right leg; inflammation of the sciatic nerve. Unless you have had it, there is no way to describe the agony felt with every slight movement. Fevers and pain keep my from sleeping more than 4 hours at a time. Doctors have given me corticosteroids with mild improvement, only to return upon taper. Steroids are a horrible drug, but when you feel their powerful effects, it is hard not to accept them as part of a solution. Doctors were puzzled once again. Obviously responding to inflammation, lab work began piling up. The vampires (phlebotomists) consider me a regular.
One doctor referral led to the next, all leading back to rheumatology: a connective tissue doctor. The appointment was puzzling, promising, and ominous. With over 30 lbs of unintentionally weight loss, he feared the "scarier things" like lymphoma. A referal to the Hematology & Onconology department in the Cancer Center.
Just that title made me cringe. And even though I was seeing a hematology doctor, the fact that it was attached to the word cancer was enough to make my stomach drop. The rheumatologist was being precautious, and I knew the logic, but my irrational side couldn't help but flash to images of chemotherapy and radiation.
Yesterday, I had my appointment at The Kelsey Seybold Cancer Center with Dr. Vu. After a thorough history, he did a physical exam which included evaluating my lymph nodes. As he was feeling around he would say "yes, I feel swollen lymph nodes, but nothing impressive." Thank Goodness. Nothing impressive to a hematologist means no lymphoma or leukemia.
He did however tell me that with swelling throughout my lymph node chains indicates systemic inflammation, and his suspicion pointed to systemic autoimmune disease. However to be safe, I am scheduled for contrast CT scans of my lymph system. Once I am cleared as cancer free, I will once again be sent back to my good old friend the rheumatologist.
At my last rheumatology appointment, Dr. Williams mentioned starting immune modulating drugs. These drugs are like chemo as in they suppress the immune system. In fact some of them are low dose chemo drugs. So, if symptoms don't improve over the next two weeks on corticosteroids, it looks like that is the direction I will go.
In addition to all of that, there is still the issue of sciatica. the question is, was it brought on by systemic inflammation then irritating an already existing problem? Is it completely unrelated and I have terrible luck? The only way to know was a referal from my rheumatologist to their spine center. So an MRI and spine evaluation is also in my very near future.
So as the school year comes to a close, and finals become priority, I find myself in a difficult situation of juggling exams, doctor appointments, blood work, imaging, and lot of bills. I may not finish the way I ever would have intended, but I will finish. After that, I have a summer of treatment, recovery, and relaxation before I prepare for my next year of optometry school. Almost 1/4th of the way done, and yet these last few steps of the semester feel as though I'm walking with weights bound to my feet. I might be dragging behind and stumbling, but I will make it.
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