In all honesty, I am having a ridiculously hard time justifying my time spent on writing this blog. You see, about five minutes previous to this moment, I had put my finishing touches (in my humble and incredibly biased opinion) on a spectacular post. Ironically, I was just patting myself on the back for how little of time spent on it. So karma obviously had to give me a good one, two punch and allow me to delete it in my “Notes” section of my iPhone. And no I did not have it saved anywhere else. And yes, I am the only one who actually uses their “Notes” app for extended paragraphs… WHICH OBVIOUSLY IS A HORRIBLE IDEA. In a last ditch effort to save my work, I googled “undo” actions for the iPhone. Turns out if you shake it hard enough, an option comes up to undo the last action. Too bad the last action I made was to angrily type random letters, in toddler tantrum fashion. Touche karma, Touche. So, to much adui, this is my shortened and less fabulous blog post. It is hard to recreate pure genius.. but I did my best  :P

It's hard to imagine we are entering our fifth week of optometry school. It seems like just yesterday we sheepishly arrived, ignorant to the eminent torture we chose to self inflict. Though overwhelming at first, we all seemed to find a rhythm of normalcy. Laden with trepidation, our inbox received the first blow to this established existence: our very first exam schedule. Instantaneously, a shadow was cast over the lecture hall. It was enough to make even the most prepared student feel the urge to cringe. The countdown was on. All of a sudden, It was as though school was put in fast forward, each day passing by more quickly than the next. The days left to study loomed over my head like a dark cloud ready to drench me in anxiety.The dreaded test week begins on Wednesday. With ten exams in seven school days, it is hard to do much of anything non-academic without being ridden with guilt. Even simple tasks such as showering and eating are considered time consuming. Basically, if it is not relevant to exam week it feel like, for all intensive purposes, cheating on optometry school. 

Before starting optometry school, I could spend hours on end pinning DIY projects, and makeup tips on Pinterest. To quench this thirst and satisfy my detrimental need for studying, I have started to use Pinterest to supplement my in class materials. Now among my fashionista style and holiday decorations lies a board for histology and neuroanatomy. Talk about killing two birds with one social media stone. A girl is got to get her fix somehow! If you haven't checked it out as a resource, I recommend you do so. And if you need a starting place, you can check out my educational (and not so educational) pinterest board here:

http://www.pinterest.com/spiccolo/boards/

Another sneaky study trick that I enjoy is Youtubing. And no, I am not talking about "Charlie Bit Me" or “What does the fox say",  though who doesn’t enjoy a vicious toddler or a man shamelessly dancing as a woodland creature. In all honesty, I have found some great physiology and neuroanatomy videos that can really simplify topics when text just isn't doing it. Here are some of my favorite physiology videos thus far:

Primary and Secondary Active Transport
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGF6ry0SWPs

Molarity/Molality/Osmolarity/Osmolality
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_Bb43LApog

Tonicity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MWl3DCa2uM

Endocytosis (Clathrin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZFnO5RY1cU

Endocytosis/Exocytosis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8vAWJIxeyE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWoByoiDAL4

Graded Potential
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy7_o4_3YD4

EPSP/IPSP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rhj8ZTMwSI

Action Potential
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfZq-gQvKkI

Action Potential (longer)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifD1YG07fB8

A.P. (even longer)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnKMB11ih2o

Ionotropic Receptor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yF0LPQT8Ic

Metabotropic Receptor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNv92siprWs

Second Messengers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDSh1jFB2U8

G-Coupled (Basic)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NB7YfAvez3o

Heterotrimeric G-Protein
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_0EcUr_txk

G Prot, PPC, IP3, DAG
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bbBrpgeheY

Motor neuron action at neuromuscular junction:
http://youtu.be/L2p73iuKJGY

Step by Step details of events at neuromuscular junction:
http://youtu.be/y7X7IZ_ubg4

How a muscle cell is signalled and then contracted:
http://youtu.be/CepeYFvqmk4

Muscle Contraction Animation:
http://youtu.be/WVuW560nRII

Cross Bridge (Step By Step):
http://youtu.be/Ct8AbZn_A8A

Well, as much as I love procrastinating… I must get back to the all important and time consuming task of studying. Happy test week everyone!

In a lecture hall of roughly 125 chairs lies a fierce battle. Before school even began, my mentor warned me of the saved seat phenomenon. I honestly didn't believe her, because who would think that professional school students could act so elementary. Getting into a tizzy over who got there first? A saved seat, as if names were engraved on the new, pristine chairs as a form of reservation?

In the brand-spankin-new building, it is hard to imagine the damage past classes imposed on the previous lecture halls. What is now a construction zone used to be a 104 person lecture hall with a class size of 104. As the building aged, the wear and tear of over thirty years was more than obvious, leaving a fight for the "most prized seats."

At UHCO, the professors rotate through the lecture halls. Your seat becomes your docking zone for hours at a time. And, once claimed for the first month, this seat becomes essentially permanent. Students would even "purchase" their seat after graduation, and an engraved plaque would adorn the seat for eternity.

Even in the new lecture room, equipped with more than enough comfortable seats, the tradition of seat saving lives on. I can even admit  falling victim to the contagious plague. My prized middle isle seat is in the second row, left side of the room when you walk in. I arrived early every day the first week of school to l claim it and have all intentions of sitting there as long as we have lecture. The first Friday of the semester, we had one lecture in a different, identical twin lecture hall. I arrived after lunch to find my normal row of seats filled with back-row migrants. Without thinking, I sarcastically blurted, "Well I guess since we are in a different room we should all change seats, even though it's exactly the same as the other one." I WAS the caddy, seat-saving psycho I feared!

In a world absorbed by lectures, labs, homeworks, quizzes, practicals, exams, and clinical competencies, simple things like "seat-saving" does in fact help us save something: our sanity. When the only things we can control are the choice of school supplies and which subject to study next, we find comfort in whatever we can claim. Though our seat of choice may not make the difference between an A or B, it is the associated mojo that will. We are young, budding professionals looking for straws to grasp, and we will take anything we can get!

Yesterday was the first day I had a moment of true confusion. Panicked by self pressure for perfection and instantaneous learning, I let my nerves get the best of me.

Geometric Optics Lab One. Pretty much as basic as you can get. However, on an empty stomach, even the simplest of mental math seems impossible. No one is invincible to the downward slope of blood sugar. Intense comprehension and a  lack of glucose is a train wreck waiting to happen. I can not elaborate enough how many times our optics professors have told us that it is easiest to do optics when we assume light is traveling from left to right. Ofcourse, the first thing I did  when I walked into our lab cubicle was sit so that the light projecting from the apparatus beamed from right to left. Automatically, every bit of reason and logic I had gained during my short span in optics flew out the window. Maybe if I had eaten lunch I would have recognized at this point to get up and sit on the other side of the lab table...but no, I made sure I was thoroughly confused before I decided to use logic.

Have you ever seen a video of salmon trying to swim up stream? I had gotten so far away from logical assumption and reason, and no matter how many people tried to explain... it was too late. The damage was done, and my learning wall was up. Convincing yourself that you can't understand something is a recipe for a self fulfilling prophecy.   Dr. Chang, our optics lab professor, kept telling us we needed to sit quietly and think about what we were doing and it would make sense.

For the first time in a year, I was the student having problems understanding. It is so easy to stand on the other side of the fence as a teacher,  and tell students not to close themselves off. But there I was, a graduate student, shutting down and caving in just like my  high schoolers did. Iwent home, defeated, and horrified for how many of these moments I was going to have. This was just the second week of four years. It is only going to get harder. Luckily I have amazingly supportive family and friends who keep my head on straight. Not everything is going to come easy. It shouldn't...its grad school and I am  by no means a genius. Practice makes perfect, and there is no wrong in taking longer than others to gain full understanding. Worrying about how fast I am learning only takes away from the learning process. With time and repetition, full comprehension will follow.

I have looked over that lab atleast 4 times since yesterday afternoon. Each time I went through my reasoning and sketches, I built more and more of a theoretical comprehension. What once made my eyes well up in confusion, now seemed so obvious. What once seemed like a mountain was, retrospectively, just a road bump.

Lessons Learned:

1.) Always eat lunch. Keep protein bars on hand just incase.

2.) Always assume light is going from Left to Right. Make life easier and orient yourself in lab so that this is true! 

3.) TAKE A DEEP BREATH. It's school. These are the times to be confused, ask questions, and seek help.

4.) Know when to walk away. Sometimes a break can be just what is needed to get to a place of insight.

5.)  If at first you don't succeed... Try, try again!

One week down. Not sure I want to know how many there are to go. But, never the less, it is an accomplishment to have survived a full week of optometry school.

Day one  was reminiscent of many first days of the past. As a first year, we are at the bottom of the pack. The small fish in a sea of much more experienced, seasoned doctors-to-be. Arriving the first day I was nervous I wouldn't be able to find my lecture room. Mind you, the school is only 400 students small, and has two main lecture halls. Thankfully, I managed to find my way. I took a seat and absorbed my surrounding. A room full of 104 eager to learn students.

Saying we have a full schedule is an understatement. Optometry school has become our job. The first day we soaked in our new life. It was invigorating to see how much we would learn. One professor told us first year medical students learn 13,000 words and we should expect to do the same. Whoa... intimidating much?

By day two, the reality of our new lives started to set in. Don't get me wrong, I am still thrilled to begin my new life... But it sure as hell is sobering. I haven't been a student in over a year, so sitting quietly in a chair for extended periods of time is something I will have to adapt to again.

One phenomenal advantage of beginning a professional school is meeting so many people. There is a vast array of peers and professors, each a unique character. During our first Neuroanatomy lab, we took turns stating out name, alma mater, and why we wanted to be an optometrist. There were so many stories that led individuals to this profession. Some were impacted by their own experience of seeing the world with the help of glasses/contacts  for the first time, others shared stories of wanting to volunteer abroad to meet impoverished needs for vision care. Some wanted to work with veterans in the VA hospital, and others wanted to work with brain injury victims in vision rehabilitation. So many different stories, all inspiring in their own way.

At the end of the week, the first and second years attended the Mentor/Mentee Dinner at The Cadillac Bar & Grill. Each new student is paired with a second year who then passes on their knowledge, experience, and advice.

The dinner was hosted by Texas State Optical, and honored the new and upcoming professionals of the future. For the first time we stood together in a room of our colleagues. The second years, once as green as us, seemed confident and comfortable. They were in our shoes just one year ago. Soon they will take their competency exam and be awarded the coveted white coat.

However, as much as I love daydreaming of the initials O.D. at the end of my name, it's time to get back to the fundamentals.